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June 26, 2006
We often say that parents learn from their children. I have been blessed to have three children, all loving and caring, and every one different than the other. From each I have learned different lessons. They are now young adults, the lessons still continue, and I guess we can say that we all learn from each other. My daughter Alanna (23 years young) sent me some of the text you will read below and she suggested I might want to share this with you. I have edited the content and cannot provide a reference for who originally created the context and content, nevertheless, worth reading. If some of you know who might have originally created the context, please let me know.
Today I am making a promise to all of you, the readers of The One Minute Motivator. You will receive one of these messages at least twice per month. I have been out of habit with respect to writing The One Minute Motivator, and after receiving multiple emails asking where I was, it has come to my intention that many of you love the content and appreciate the messages. Please enjoy this one.
People, who are successful in life, whether in business, relationships, sport etc., are those who have been prepared to take a risk. It is the same with taking the risk to let down those walls and let love in again. There are no guarantees in life - there's always a chance that the relationship won't work and you may be hurt again, but there is a saying "That, which doesn't kill you, makes you stronger". Any adversity or painful experience gives you strength and once you realize that you can handle it (after all, it didn't kill you) you can choose to learn from the experience and go on to make positive changes. When you do get back on your feet (financially, romantically, in health or whatever), you have more appreciation for life and love and all the wonders the world offers.
Whenever life doesn't go exactly how you may have wanted it to go:
- Remember that every experience in life becomes an asset in your armamentarium - something you can learn from and utilize in the future.
- It is not reality to look at a relationship that didn't work out as a failure. Often it's an imagined "failure" that fuels you to future success.
- Look toward your future. As Anthony Robbins said "Your past does not equal your future. Sometimes after a separation, we find ourselves dwelling on the past; our thoughts consumed with that other person. You will begin to heal when you start thinking and writing about what you want for your life".
- Understand and acknowledge your part in the break up. It is easy to place all the blame on your "ex", but until you take responsibility for at least some part of the break up, you are unlikely to have fulfilling relationships in the future.
- Barbara De Angelis PHD, a US relationship expert, says, "The emotions that you feel and express, you can heal. You can't heal feelings that you stuff inside you. We need to actually go back in there, say the things we never said, cry the tears we never cried, get angry about the things we never got angry about, so that we don't need to protect ourselves with those walls any more". So, have a good cry, rant and rave, punch the pillows and get it all out of you!
- Read books, hire a coach or therapist, go to workshops and seminars, find articles on the internet that teach you about letting go of the past and be sure to apply the lessons.
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